


A Better Version of Me

by GeekLover



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 20:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLover/pseuds/GeekLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin thought he was doing the right thing. A lot of people would have called him a hero for his efforts - but not Arthur Pendragon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Better Version of Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tu_es_mi_amour](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tu_es_mi_amour).



> Written for Merlin-Holidays for tu_es_mi_amour. I tried to include some of your likes in here.I hope you enjoy the holiday fluff, with a side of angst.

As the moppet with the blinding blonde hair ran down the candy aisle, Arthur Pendragon had just enough time to sidestep the oncoming collision. 

“Good grief!” Arthur grumbled as he turned around to look at the blur of a five year old that still raced down the aisle. “Watch where you’re going! There’s no running in the - ow!” Arthur was rudely interrupted by another - identical - blonde menace that stomped on his foot on his race to catch up to his brother. “Bloody kids!”

“Sorry, Mr. Pendragon.” A harried, blonde with long, curly hair rushed past with a packed trolley.

“It’s alright, Mrs. Godwin.” It took a considerable effort but Arthur tried to put on a polite smile, which looked unnatural and slightly creepy. While Arthur truly wanted to take the boys over his knee and give them a good spanking, he didn’t want to upset Mrs. Godwin. She was a loyal, and mostly nice, customer to his store Camelot and it could use as many customers as possible.

Arthur watched the woman and her two overly rambunctious children turn the corner and finally let go with an epic eye roll that he had held in for days. Honestly, a couple of hopped up on sugar kids making mincemeat of his foot was not even in the top ten of annoying things Arthur had to deal with in the last couple of weeks - two weeks before Christmas. Constant shoplifting attempts, daily rows in the queues - Arthur had to actually break up a fight between two elderly women over a box of maltesers. Arthur blew out a long breath - he truly hated this time of year.

As a young couple with a squalling baby passed by, Arthur sighed and turned back to the shelves and continued doing inventory. He stopped by the shelf with maltesers and sighed when he saw they were running dangerously low. In hopes of avoiding a riot, he needed to get one of the stock boys on that right away. As “Jingle Bells” began playing over the PA system, for what Arthur surmised was the thousandth time that day, he gritted his teeth and trudged towards the front of the store. 

He knew this was supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year” but there was nothing about the holidays that brought Arthur any joy. It wasn’t because of some traumatic event from his childhood. His parents didn’t die around the holidays. He wasn’t left at the altar on Christmas. His girlfriend didn’t leave him for a fat man with a long beard and a big belly. He just hated this time of year. He hated being a cliche, but he felt like Ebenezer Scrooge come to life. 

“Merry Christmas! Welcome to Camelot, I hope you enjoy your visit today.” Merlin Emrys’s booming voice greeted Arthur as he got to the front. If Arthur was Ebenezer, he guessed that Merlin would be a grown up version of Tiny Tim, minus the terminal disease. Arthur had never met someone so annoyingly peppy in his life. 

Merlin was the greeter for Camelot, and had been for over six months, when Arthur had gotten the brilliant idea to create the position in the hopes that it would help sales. It worked for some popular stores in the states and he thought it wouldn’t hurt to try it.

Arthur thought about going over to Merlin to discuss his use of the phrase of the phrase “Merry Christmas.” They’d talked about it before and Arthur had made the decision to use the more politically correct “Happy Holidays” but for some reason Merlin seemed to have trouble using that simple phrase. But after a brief moment of thought, Arthur shrugged his shoulders and decided not to bother. He really couldn’t be arsed to care if someone got their knickers in a twist over it or not.

Merlin’s eyes crinkled as his face lit up with an infectious smile as he greeted the next customer. Well perhaps not quite so infectious, Arthur surmised as he watched the exchange between Merlin and the frizzy haired blonde, who from the looks of the asymmetrical hairline was wearing a truly horrible wig. She looked up at Merlin with a bit of a sneer and shuffled past him into the grocery store. 

 

~*~

No matter what the situation - natural disaster, belligerent customers, back to school - no matter how busy they were or how inane the job seemed to be, Merlin’s smile almost never faltered. It was unnatural.

Arthur supposed that was why he had taken to watching Merlin with increased fascination. It wasn’t that possible to be that happy all of the time - especially when you worked in retail. Arthur was manager of the store, a position that brought him no joy, and more than his fair share of nights where he crawled into bed at the end of the night and wondered what the hell he was doing with his life.

If only he hadn’t been a somewhat idealistic twenty year old and stood up to his rich father. If only he hadn’t been subsequently thrown out of his father’s life - and had his financial support severed. If only he had been able to finish college. But with no funds, he hadn’t been able to and thanks to his privileged upbringing -with no real training- the only job he could get was at Camelot. Arthur was naturally intelligent and still driven and worked his way from being a customer service representative to manager in just one year. He supposed that was something to be proud of.

But Arthur took no pride in it. He honestly thought if he had to do the same boring routine every day for much longer, he might go insane and he didn’t even have to deal with the annoying customers for the most part. So how Merlin managed that bloody smile at every turn frustrated him. He was sure that was the reason his gaze wandered to the new boy often.

Everyone loved Merlin. He had quickly become the most popular employee at Camelot. If it weren’t for Merlin’s boyish enthusiasm and mildly good looks (okay maybe a little more than mildly) Arthur thought Merlin would experience more grief from the customers than he did. Most customers bustled past Merlin with just a cursory nod, but there were more than a few affected by Merlin’s charm and who struck up conversations with him. And of course there were the tossers.

Today seemed to be a day of one rude customer after another. Arthur tried to focus back on his task as he found their stock boy Mordred, but his eyes strayed over to Merlin. He looked up just in time to see Merlin stumble as a burly, middle-aged man practically barreled into him. Perhaps he imagined it, but Merlin’s smile seemed to falter for a split second before he fully righted himself and greeted the next customer, a sweet older woman who smiled benignly up at him.

Arthur was just coming back from the stockroom when he saw Merlin talking to a tall, older grey-haired man. He was already frowning and his frown deepened the longer he talked to Merlin. Merlin’s shoulders slumped more and more as he frantically gesticulated. When the man angrily poked Merlin in the shoulder, Arthur rushed over.

“What seems to be the problem here?” He stepped between the man, who he didn’t recognize as a frequent customer, and Merlin.

“This young man advised me to buy pornography and now he tells me I can’t return it.” The angry, older man stared daggers at Merlin.

Arthur’s eyes widened. “Trust me when I say I’m fairly sure Camelot does not sell adult movies of any kind.”

“It w-wasn’t pornography,” Merlin stammered. “I mean, yes, there are several simulated sex scenes, but it’s not porn.”

“It was filth,” the man insisted. “Nudity, constant swearing, adultery…”

“What movie is this?” Arthur said a little too eagerly. His curiosity was definitely peaked. 

“ _Love, Actually,_ Merlin and the old man said at the same time.

Arthur blinked slowly and then let out a small burst of laughter. “ _Love, Actually?_ You’re talking about that corny movie with every British actor in the galaxy in it?”

“Yes, that movie." Arthur thought he saw Merlin roll his eyes slightly, but it went by so fast that if he blinked, he would have missed it. "He asked for a sweet, holiday movie and I recommended that to him.” Merlin pointed at the irate customer.

“It was anything but sweet. I watched it with my ten year old granddaughter. I worry it might have psychologically damaged the poor girl.”

“I think you’re being dramatic," Arthur scoffed. "I’m sure the girl sees worse before she even cracks open her first book at school.”

Merlin slowly turned to Arthur, his mouth open slightly. He quickly turned back to the other man. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you planned to watch the movie with someone so young.”

The man waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t want your apologies; I just want my money back.”

“That’s understandable." Arthur nodded. "Unfortunately, even if video stores still existed Camelot is not, and has never been, a video store. You’ve opened the movie and watched it. Whether you are displeased with your purchase or not, it is not our policy to give refunds on movie purchases.”

“But I’m a loyal customer.”

Arthur rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I’ll tell you what, since you are such a loyal customer, I’ll do you a favor and direct you to the far left corner of the store where we have a sale on eyeglasses, because it seems you might need them.”

“I beg your pardon?” The older man squawked.

“Mr. Pendragon, I appreciate your stepping in, but perhaps you should let me -” Merlin started.

Arthur put his hand on Merlin’s chest. “I can handle this, Merlin.” Arthur knew he needed to hang on to all of the customers he could. He knew that being so blunt with a customer wasn’t wise, but he couldn’t help himself. He hadn’t felt this good in days. “I assume you don’t have glasses, otherwise I don’t understand how you didn’t clearly see that the movie had a 15 rating. I have to assume you can’t see or have to come to the worse conclusion that you’re just not terribly bright.”

“I don’t appreciate your tone.” The older man squared his shoulders and glared at Arthur.

Arthur matched the man’s stance. “And I don’t appreciate you treating my employees with disrespect. I don’t care what kind of complaints you have, that does not give you the right to put your hands on anyone here. Now either apologize to young Mr. Emrys or you can take your business elsewhere.”

The man narrowed his eyes and briefly looked between Arthur and Merlin.

“Mr. Pendragon, that’s not really necessary.” Merlin chimed in.

Arthur ignored him.

The irate customer finally let out a slight growl. “I can assure you that your corporate offices will be getting a call from me.”

“Make sure you actually wear your glasses this time, wouldn’t want you to call the wrong number,” Arthur said coolly.

The old man grunted before he whirled around and marched out of the store.

Arthur watched the man leave and a slow smile spread over his face. When he turned around, Merlin looked ashen and blinked up at Arthur slowly. 

“What- what- what was that?” Merlin whispered.

“I believe the phrase you’re looking for Merlin is thank you.” Arthur strode off with a pep in his step. 

 

~*~

Arthur gripped his pen tighter as he noticed Merlin’s head disappear and reappear in front of the tiny window of his office door. Arthur was just finishing up his lunch and trying to complete some paperwork at the same time. Merlin hadn’t said a word to him since the incident with the customer the previous day, but Arthur could feel Merlin’s eyes on him whenever he was around. And now today, he’d spent fifteen minutes outside Arthur’s door. In the brief glimpses Arthur saw of him, Merlin looked like a kicked puppy waiting to be asked inside.

When Merlin’s head reappeared for the fifth time, Arthur had enough. “Merlin!” He bellowed. He heard a slight squeak, a bump against the door, and then Merlin slowly opened the door and awkwardly shuffled inside. He twisted his hands and looked at Arthur nervously. “I’m fairly certain I don’t pay you to hover, Merlin. Say whatever it is you need to say and get back to work.”

“I’m on my break.”

“Oh...well then go and eat." Arthur looked up at him and waved his pen vaguely in his direction. "Stop annoying me.”

“I just wanted to say thank you,” Merlin blurted out. 

“Have you ever heard the expression ‘a day late and a dollar short?’” Arthur chuckled.

Merlin opened and closed his mouth quickly. His face fell and he started to turn to leave.

“I’m just having a laugh, Merlin. You’re welcome.” Arthur picked up his pen and thought that would be the end of it, but Merlin continued to hover. 

Merlin hesitantly stepped forward. “While I do appreciate your defense I was wondering if...perhaps...there might have been another way you could have handled the situation?”

Arthur slowly put his pen down. He looked up at Merlin and arched an eyebrow. “And just what would you suggest that I should have done?”

“I could have simply apologized and suggested another item the man could have purchased.” Merlin took another cautious step toward the chair in front of Arthur’s desk.

“I suppose that would have been one way to handle it. But for a rude, abusive wanker like that, I think my way was better.”

Merlin finally took a seat in the chair. “It was an understandable mistake on both of our parts. He should have told me who he wanted the movie for and I probably should have asked. Just because the man was rude doesn’t mean you needed to be a prat in kind.”

Arthur was sure no other employee had ever called him a prat - well not to his face - and he would never have guessed that Merlin Emrys would be the first.

Merlin seemed to realize what he had said a split second afterwards. Arthur could see the color drain from his face. “I didn’t...I wasn’t trying to...You’re not a prat. Well, you did act in a pratlike manner…”

For the first time in ages, Arthur laughed. It felt really good and the honest surprise on Merlin’s face added to the lightness in Arthur’s chest. “Stop digging your grave even further, Merlin. You’re right. I was a prat.” Merlin looked taken aback at that admission. “But I think that’s how you have to be sometimes to deal with these idiots.”

“You think our customers are idiots?”

“The lot of them.”

It was Merlin’s turn to laugh. It was light and airy and Arthur had to admit it wasn’t the most unpleasant thing he’d ever heard.

“Why are you so unhappy?”

Arthur was caught off guard by the comment. Merlin looked surprised that the words had escaped his lips. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that.” 

Arthur started to look down at the papers strewn about his disorganized workspace, but before he could get his mind back on his job, Merlin’s voice cut in again.

“But why are you unhappy?” Merlin asked with a bit more confidence.

“What makes you think I’m unhappy?” Arthur shrugged.

“You hate our customers and it shows - you never smile. You’re always eating lunch by yourself. You could eat in the break room.” 

“Merlin, the break room is for employees. I am the boss. I don’t fraternize with my employees,” Arthur explained matter-of-factly.

“That’s too bad.” Merlin looked down at his feet. 

Arthur stared up at Merlin and didn’t know what to say. The energy in the room was suddenly different, things felt heavier than before and Arthur didn’t know what to make of it. He’d never talked this long to another of his employees before and he was startled to realize that he wouldn’t mind it if it went on a little longer.

Merlin cleared his throat just then. He pulled out his phone and looked down at the screen. “I should get back to work.” 

“Right,” Arthur said.

“Thanks.” Merlin stepped out the door.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me.” 

Merlin smiled. “I didn’t mean for yesterday.” Then he left without another word.

Arthur looked at the closed door for several seconds and realized that he might have to rethink his opinion of one Merlin Emrys.

 

~*~

The next day, as Arthur oversaw the hanging of some tacky Christmas lights at the front of the store, he watched Merlin surreptitiously. He hated to admit it - even to himself - but he couldn’t get Merlin out of his mind ever since their conversation the other day. If Merlin could sense Arthur’s gaze on him, he gave no clue. Merlin’s approach to the customers didn’t change. He was just as sweet and friendly as always.

The only time Arthur noticed a slight change was when Merlin was harassed by a stout, curly-haired man who was twice Merlin’s size. Arthur couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, but the man’s tone and the look on his face was very hostile. At one point, the man got directly in Merlin’s personal space and Arthur saw Merlin’s hand clench for a moment. For a split second, Arthur thought Merlin might actually do something. But then, Merlin’s hand unfurled and he took a step back. Arthur sighed.

After the man left, Arthur sidled up to Merlin. Merlin almost leapt out of his skin when Arthur leaned close to his ear. “It’s alright if you hit a customer. Everyone is allowed one free shot per year.”

Merlin didn’t say anything, but just shook his head. Arthur smiled as he walked away. He looked back and saw that Merlin had a big grin on his face. Arthur’s smile widened.

 

~*~

Later, during lunch Arthur heard a timid knock on his door. “Come in.”

“Hello.” Merlin stuck his head in first before he slowly introduced the rest of his body to the room.

“It’s good to see you’ve advanced to the knocking stage. Your hovering was annoying.” Arthur fought back a grin.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to annoy you,” Merlin said blithely as he sat down across from Arthur. “Do you mind if I have lunch here?” Merlin set down a red and white small lunch bag on Arthur's desk.

His first instinct was to say yes, something that was unusual, and unnerved Arthur. He decided to rely on his usual method of dealing with people instead. “I’m sorry if I confused you yesterday, but just because I invited you in yesterday doesn’t mean I meant for this to be a regular occurrence. I meant what I said yesterday - I don’t ‘hang out’ with my employees. We’re not going to be friends, Merlin.”

“I never said anything about friends,” Merlin said with mock innocence. “I just don’t want to eat alone. You don’t have to say anything.”

Arthur eyed Merlin warily, but he couldn’t see the harm, so he decided not to put up a fight. He sighed. “Fine.”

Merlin ate in comfortable silence for five minutes before he spoke up. “Can I ask you something?”

“So you’re asking now? Not just blurting out random questions,” Arthur mumbled. “What happened to not saying anything?”

“I said _you_ didn’t have to say anything. I didn’t say anything about me.”

“You’re clever,” Arthur said sarcastically.

“Just one question.”

Arthur stared at him blankly for a moment before he waved his hand in Merlin’s direction. “Ask.”

“If you hate your job so much, why do you do it?”

“You can’t just ask something simple, like ‘What’s your favorite color?’ You just go right for the throat.” Arthur laughed sardonically.

Merlin didn’t say anything, just looked expectantly at Arthur.

“I don’t know,” Arthur lied. “Most people hate their jobs, Merlin.”

“I don’t,” Merlin responded easily.

Arthur slowly ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose you’re lucky then.”

 

~*~

The next day, Arthur didn’t bother to question it when Merlin showed up for lunch. He was slightly embarrassed that he was looking forward to it more than just a bit. This time, Merlin brought goodies with him.

“I brought some mince pies.”

Arthur picked one up out of the red tin. He looked intrigued.

“They’re vegetarian.”

Arthur’s interest dropped immediately. He let the pie fall back into the tin.

“Come on, you should at least give it a try before dismissing it.” Merlin chuckled and picked up another pie.

Arthur bit his lip and looked at the mince pies thoughtfully. He slowly reached forward and picked one up again. “If I hate these, you know you’re sacked right?”

“Of course.”

Arthur took a hesitant, tiny bite. When the taste didn’t make him want to gag, he immediately tried a bigger bite. If Arthur could be in love with a baked good, he thought he would be in love with this one. He’d had a lot of mince pies in his life, but this was by far the best. It wasn’t too sticky and had just the right amount of mincemeat in them.

When Arthur had finished one pie, he immediately got another and then another. After finishing his fourth, and the last one in the tin, he looked up at Merlin with a satisfied smile. “Why are you working here when you could be making those for a living?”

“I don’t think I have the patience to be a professional baker.” Merlin laughed.

“You’re missing out.” Arthur wiped his hands with a napkin.

Merlin covered the tin back and beamed proudly.

“Who taught you how to make them?”

“My mum." Merlin’s smile faltered slightly. "It’s her recipe.”

By the distant and faraway look in his eye, Arthur didn’t need to ask if Merlin’s mother was still with them. 

“Given how good your pies are, I’m sure she’d be very proud,” Arthur said sincerely.

“I hope so.” Merlin nodded slowly.

 

~*~

“What’s your favorite part about Christmas?” Merlin asked one day at lunch as he and Arthur shared a box of Maltesers.

“When it’s over.”

Merlin chuckled, but when Arthur stared at him deadly serious, Merlin’s laughter died down. “Seriously?”

Arthur nodded.

“How can you not like Christmas?”

“Don’t say it like that! You sound like you should be dancing around with Charlie Brown. There are plenty of people who don’t like the holidays,” Arthur said a bit defensively.

“But it’s - it’s Christmas. What’s not to like?”

Arthur rolled up his sleeves. “Oh, I don’t know. How about relentlessly fake cheerful music, green and red everywhere, not that I mind the color red so much, but during Christmas it looks like there’s blood everywhere. Forced family togetherness, and if you don’t have a family, everyone looking at you with cloyingly sympathetic looks. The weather is horrible and people complain incessantly. The stores are filled with people who apparently lost all sense of decorum and decency once December hits...Should I go on?” Merlin shook his head. “And before you ask, nothing happened to me. I just don’t like the holidays.”

“Alright.”

“That’s it?” Arthur was surprised. People usually pestered him endlessly when he went on diatribes about the holidays and with Merlin being practically the Ambassador of Christmas, he didn’t think Merlin would give up so easily.

“Yeah.” Merlin shrugged. “I’m not going to say anything to convince you.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Merlin smiled. He got up and walked towards the door.

“Merlin, I have to say you constantly surprise me.”

“Good surprises?”

“Very good.”

 

~*~

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Merlin said without preamble as he came into Arthur’s office.

“Not much. My sister Morgana is spending the holiday with her husband’s family, which is probably for the best. I don’t really need her needling me about my lack of a wife.” Arthur sighed. “I was thinking of watching _It’s A Wonderful Life_ , but for some reason I now have an odd need to watch _Love, Actually_.” They both laughed.

Merlin nervously gripped the back of the chair. “How would you like some company?”

Arthur bit his tongue. Against his better judgment he’d let Merlin in little by little, but as much as he wanted to be with Merlin on Christmas, or any other night, he couldn’t cross that line. “Merlin, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? You can say we’re not friends, but I know we are. I just want to show you how great Christmas can be,” Merlin pleaded.

Arthur took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. If Merlin kept giving him that look with his wide innocent eyes, he knew he might cave. “I thought you said you wouldn’t try to convince me about the wonders of Christmas?”

“I said I wouldn’t say anything, never said anything about showing you.” Merlin smiled broadly.

“Clever.” Arthur smiled back. Merlin looked at him so hopefully, he hated to crush his spirit, but he couldn’t give in. “My answer is still no.”

Merlin just stared at him. “Alright.” He turned on his heels and left.

Arthur closed his eyes and sat back heavily in his chair. “And this is why I don’t make friends.”

 

~*~

Arthur spent the next day fearful that he’d driven Merlin away for good. On one hand, he thought that was probably for the best. He was not a people person and he knew eventually Merlin would get tired of trying to drag him into the land of the living. But mostly, Arthur selfishly didn’t want Merlin to stop trying.

When Merlin showed up for lunch as if nothing had happened, Arthur couldn’t help letting out a huge sigh in relief. Merlin didn’t seem to be affected by Arthur’s rejection the previous day. He chattered away about his favorite Christmas movie - not _Love, Actually_ but _A Muppet Christmas Carol_. When he got up to leave, he asked Arthur once again if he wanted to spend Christmas with him. Once again Arthur said no. For the next week, they followed the same pattern. Merlin would ask and Arthur would say no.

Arthur was instantly worried when Merlin didn’t show up for lunch one day. After waiting for fifteen minutes, he headed to the front of the store. When he got there, he saw a group of people clustered together at the front doors. As he walked to get a closer look, he saw a familiar older woman as she blocked the doors trying to pick up her fallen bags; there was a broken carton of eggs on the ground, oranges rolled across the floor haphazardly, and a carton of almond milk spilling its contents.

Merlin was by her side. He tried to reassure the woman in the faded purple dress as she was hunched over. Merlin helped her as best he could while also trying to calm down the impatient customers behind her. 

Arthur rushed over. “Merlin, why didn’t you call anyone for assistance?”

“I thought I could handle it.” Merlin just looked up at him sheepishly and shrugged.

They got everything settled in the bags. The older woman murmured to Arthur about needing new eggs. Suddenly, Arthur felt a slight breeze as someone whizzed past him. 

He heard Merlin shout and all of a sudden Merlin raced outside.

“Merlin, what are you doing?”

“He stole that woman’s purse,” Merlin answered. He didn’t even stop or glance back at Arthur.

The older woman clutched at Arthur’s hand. She had a surprisingly strong grip and Arthur had to pry his hand away. He raced after where he thought Merlin had been heading. Merlin was a lot faster than he gave him credit for.

Arthur halted suddenly when he spotted the tell-tale red Camelot shirt as Merlin lay prone on the ground. Arthur’s heart stuck in his throat and he sprinted towards him. He groaned a little when his knees skidded roughly on the ground by Merlin’s head. “Merlin?”

Merlin moaned and slowly rolled over. He had a large gash on his forehead, blood trickled down. He blinked up at Arthur. “Did I get him?”

 

~*~

The sound of the cupboard door as it was slammed shut almost rattled the door to the backroom. Arthur fumed as he rummaged around for the first aid kit. Merlin was seated at the lone small round table in the back room and had the sense to look down somewhat sheepishly, given how angry Arthur was.

After the police were called, Arthur had left the older woman - Alice - with security and went to tend to Merlin’s wound. 

Arthur finally found the kit and stared down at it. It should have been fairly simple - how hard could it be to bandage someone’s cut - but Arthur had never done it before. He tried to remember how his mother used to take care of him when he had cuts and scrapes.

He dabbed some alcohol on a cotton ball and placed it gently against the cut on Merlin’s forehead. Merlin hissed, and despite his anger - Arthur felt bad. He tried to exert less pressure on the wound. He sighed. “I’m not an expert, but it doesn’t look as if you’ll need stitches.”

Merlin looked up hesitantly. He bit his lip. “I guess I’m lucky then.”

Arthur paused in his ministrations and glared at Merlin. “Are you serious?” He said slowly.

Merlin debated on whether he should respond to the seemingly rhetorical question. He started to nod, but Arthur stood up and yelled before he could finish. 

“You daft sod! Do you have any idea how completely _stupid_ and _insane_ what you did to today was?” He didn’t let Merlin talk as his voice rose in anger, though he did a good job keeping the tremble of fear out of his voice. “You could have been killed! I swear if you weren’t hurt already I would throttle you! Do you have any idea how frightened I was?”

Merlin blinked up at him. He looked completely shell-shocked, Arthur wasn’t sure if that was because of what happened or because of Arthur’s outburst or a combination of the two. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, before he swallowed. “I...I didn’t think-”

“Clearly, thinking was not involved.”

“He was just a boy.”

Arthur stalked over to Merlin. “You’re just a boy!” He gestured down at Merlin. “And you hardly weight eight stones soaking wet. What were you trying to do - make a citizen’s arrest? What if he had a weapon? What would you have done then?”

To Arthur’s surprise, Merlin stood up suddenly. He winced a little, but after a few seconds he looked Arthur directly in the eye. “I couldn’t just let him get away.”

“Why? That’s not your job.”

“I wanted to help that woman.” His voice cracked when he spoke. “It’s Christmas Eve. She just wanted to make a cake for her grandchildren. I didn’t want her Christmas to be ruined.”

“Merlin, this isn’t a Disney movie! Nobody’s Christmas is going to be ruined because they don’t have cake! Why are you so naive?”

“Why are you such a selfish prat?”

There was a mix of hurt, confusion, and anger in his tone. Arthur knew Merlin wasn’t trying to be hurtful, but it still hurt him to think that Merlin saw him that way. He tried to say something, but Merlin didn’t let him.

“Look, Arthur, I know you’re not a bad person. But you and I are very different. I want to believe that there is good in this world and if that had happened to me, someone else would have done the same thing.” He sighed. “I want to believe that I’m a good person.”

That was not what Arthur expected to hear at all. When Merlin slumped back down at the table, Arthur just stared at the man, as he mulled over what to say. He felt bad for being so harsh with Merlin. He had just been so scared for Merlin when he ran off to chase the thief. He never thought he could be affected so intensely by another person.

He sat back down and tentatively touched Merlin’s knee. “You are a good person, Merlin.” Arthur almost flinched when Merlin looked up at him suddenly.

“You don’t know me, Arthur.” Merlin shook his head.

Arthur didn’t know what to say to that. After all the time they’d spent together the last couple of weeks, he thought he did know Merlin. But Merlin was right there was still so much they never talked about.

Merlin shuddered as he took in a deep breath. “I’ve done some horrible things, Arthur. I’ve hurt people in ways that I never thought I could, or would ever want to. When I was a kid, I was a mess. My father left and I made my mother’s life so unbearably difficult. She died before I really got my life together, but she always believed the best in me. I can be better than that person I used to be. I want to be.”

Merlin spoke with such a sincere and naked vulnerability that Arthur felt that he should avert his eyes, but couldn’t make himself. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about your mother, Merlin. But I meant what I said before - I think she would be proud of you.” Arthur leaned forward and gently placed a small plaster against Merlin’s cut. He smoothed it down gently with his fingers. He looked into Merlin’s eyes. “So, you want to change the world one good deed at a time?”

He had meant it to be gently sarcastic, but being so close to Merlin made him nervous and it came out softer, with no bite to it at all.

“Why not?” 

Arthur chuckled. Merlin was completely serious in his earnestness and instead of being frustrated with him, Arthur had to admit to some admiration for his friend. He recognized some of his younger self’s idealism in Merlin. Arthur missed feeling like that.

“You probably think I’m a nutter.” Merlin licked his lips and looked down shyly.

“No, I don’t." As he leaned in closer, Arthur put his hands on Merlin’s thighs. "You’re not quite like anyone I’ve ever met before. You’ve actually inspired me and I thought that was impossible.”

“I’ve inspired you? It must be a Christmas miracle,” Merlin teased.

“I’m trying to be serious and you mock me. I’m offended.” Arthur smiled, but became serious again quickly. “You asked me once, why I stayed in a job that I hate.” Arthur took a deep breath. “It’s because I may hate it, but I’m good at this job. There are other things I want to do with my life, but what if I’m not as good at them. What if I fail?”

“Maybe you will, but trying has to be better than living in misery the way you are now.”

“Maybe you’re right.” He looked up at Merlin.

“I’m rarely wrong.” Merlin smiled broadly and Arthur had the strongest urge to kiss every corner of that sweet, beautiful, smart mouth. His treacherous hands latched onto Merlin’s thighs and he slowly started stroking his hands up and down as he inched closer towards Merlin. He cleared his throat nervously. “Why did you never tell me about your mother before?”

“I don’t know." Merlin shrugged one shoulder. "I didn’t really think that was an appropriate third or fourth date topic.”

“Right...Wait.” Arthur’s eyes bugged out. “Is that...Is that what our lunches have been?”

“That’s what it felt like to me." Merlin looked down and ran his hand through his hair. "But perhaps I was wrong…”

“But you’re rarely wrong.” A slow smile spread across Arthur's face.

“So, are you saying we’re dating?” Merlin put his hand on Arthur’s knee and squeezed softly.

Merlin’s thigh muscles tensed as Arthur was a hair’s breath away from Merlin’s lips. Just as Merlin closed his eyes, there was a knock on the door.

Relief, panic, and confusion filled Arthur. He groaned as he pulled away from Merlin. He couldn’t meet his eyes.

As he walked to the door, he thought about how this was probably for the best. Merlin was his employee and had probably just suffered some sort of concussion and wasn’t thinking clearly. They couldn’t be dating. He should probably thank whoever interrupted them. Instead, in his mind, he devised several different torture scenarios.

“What?” He opened the door and growled.

The curly-haired blonde recoiled slightly. “T-The constable’s here.”

“Thank you, Leon.” Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

He closed the door and took a deep breath. He tried to compose himself before he faced Merlin again. When he turned around, he was surprised to see that Merlin was within arm’s reach. Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. “The constable’s here. So we probably should go and deal with that.”

Merlin nodded with a deep frown on his face. 

“And I think you should probably take the rest of the day off.”

“I’d like to finish my shift." Merlin directed his response to Arthur’s lips. "I think I’ll be alright. It doesn’t really take much brain power to say ‘Welcome to Camelot.’”

“Alright.” Arthur laughed softly. He barely had the chance to turn around before Merlin quickly gripped Arthur’s forearm. Arthur slowly faced Merlin and almost swallowed his tongue when Merlin placed a gentle hand on Arthur’s stomach.

“Are you going to answer my question?”

Arthur tried to wipe the lust cobwebs from his brain. “As your boss I say ‘no.’”

“And not as my boss?” Merlin brought his hand slowly up Arthur’s chest.

“Yes,” Arthur whispered.

“I guess there’s only one solution.” Merlin placed a hand against Arthur’s cheek and rubbed his thumb against Arthur’s bottom lip.

“What’s that?”

“I quit.”

“No.” Arthur cocked his head to the side and grinned at Merlin.

“Why not?” Merlin pulled back slightly.

“Because I quit.” Arthur wasn’t sure who reached for the other one first, but it didn’t matter as they met in the middle and their lips fused together. Arthur gently took Merlin’s face in his hands and stroked his thumbs against Merlin’s cheeks. Merlin took the initiative and deepened the kiss.

Arthur pulled away only just so to let their breaths mingle together. Their foreheads touched. “The day’s almost over and you haven’t asked me your usual question.”

“Do you want to spend Christmas with me?” Merlin smiled against Arthur’s lips and kissed him gently.

Arthur crushed Merlin’s body to his and planted a kiss on him that he knew Merlin would feel for days. He broke the kiss and grinned. “Yes.”


End file.
